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Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

What Christmas is all about. Helping one another

David Flanagan

As the holiday season approaches I thought of sharing the following piece. I wrote the story about twenty years ago when my kids (and I) were much younger. I decided to leave it unchanged from the original despite editorial changes I would make now if rewriting the story.

The story appeared in various local newspapers on the editorial page and I think my angst over being able to provide for my children as a parent then is perhaps even more true for many now given the current economic climate.

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Over the past few months, we’ve been continuously bombarded by an endless flow of advertisements from merchants heralding the arrival of the holiday season and announcing the availability of their products.

Of all the merchants hawking their wares and urging us to spend our hard earned dollars, perhaps none are as persistent or potentially influential as those who represent the toy and games industry. Television commercials, full-page newspaper ads and glitzy flyers all implore us to do one thing-run out to the nearest mall ASAP and pick up as many items as possible in time for Christmas.

Have I been affected by their pleas? Of course, toys and games are loads of fun, and after all don’t I have two kids at home who are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Santa? Let’s face it, the advertisements have worked or shall I say the arm twisting has been extremely effective. I mean, what type of father would I be if I didn’t do everything in my power to make sure that the kids are amply rewarded with as many toys and games as possible? Talk about guilt feelings!

So recently I found myself at the Independence Mall among hundreds of other parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other would-be Santas joined in the quest for the ideal gifts. As I wandered down aisle after aisle of bikes, games, dolls, Playstations and stuffed animals I found myself simultaneously awed and disheartened over the exorbitant cost of toys today.

Forty dollars for a not-so-cute doll, fifty bucks for a Legends of Wrestling videogame, $130 for My Size Barbie as Rapunzel and $250 for the Star Wars 25th anniversary LEGO Imperial Star Destroyer.

As my journey continued I experienced tremendous feelings of ambivalence toward the holiday season. On the one hand I was thrilled at the thought of being able to purchase gifts for the kids and witnessing the pleasure that such items would surely bring. Conversely, I felt great concern and guilt over whether I would truly be able to afford enough gifts to ensure such pleasure.

At the same time, I began thinking about other parents who, as a result of the current economic climate, may not have the wherewithal to feed, clothe or house their children, never mind smother them with gifts. What does a single mother tell her child on Christmas morning when the boy rushes over to their tree and finds that there’s nothing beneath it?

How does an unemployed father answer a child who asks, as tears well up in her beautiful blue eyes, what has she done that was so wrong, so terrible that it could cause Santa to abandon her this Christmas? What crosses a little boy’s mind when he visits his friend’s house and notices a mountain of toys and games heaped beneath the tree?

While thinking about these questions I found myself drifting back to my own childhood and recalling Christmases past: the annual Christmas Eve ritual of leaving out hot cocoa and cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer, my sister and I opening our gifts and the family gatherings at Nana’s home in Dorchester.

How wonderful those Christmases were and how fortunate I am to have such pleasant, enduring memories of them. Yet, while my Christmas memories are indeed positive ones, there were several that may not have been quite so enjoyable had it not been for the generosity and compassion of various charitable organizations and their contributors. Charities and Good Samaritans that come to mind include the men and women who threw the annual Christmas party in the Charlestown Navy Yard, Globe Santa in Boston, Scituate Community Christmas, the Kennedy Center and Townie Santa, and the Salvation Army among others.

Unless you have been fortunate to have received assistance from one of the many charitable organizations that exist I’m not sure that you can ever really appreciate how wonderful a service they provide to their recipients. Such organizations and the volunteers who support them truly embody the spirit of Christmas and can make a profound difference in the lives of those dependent upon them.

Think about it-total strangers coming together, giving of their time, money and energy to help make life a bit more bearable for people whom they may never meet. That to me is truly what Christmas is all about.

Has Christmas become too commercialized and focused on material pleasures and the temporary satisfaction that showering one another with gifts during the holidays brings? Yes, of course it has and in reality there is so much more to Christmas and the holiday season such as getting together with family and friends and celebrating how much we mean to one another. It also means reaching out to help someone in need and trying to bring a smile of joy to those we encounter in all that we do.

Like most parents I have always tried to instill within my children the same strong values of honesty, compassion, hard work that my mother provided to me by way of example.

However, my point here is that when your kids are young you simply have to try to find the right balance of making their wishes for material things come true until such time as they’re mature enough to realize there is so much more to Christmas morning than finding a pile of gifts beneath the tree. Sure, many never mature to the point where they acknowledge that there is more to life than just self satisfaction but that is a story for another day.

A neighbor informed me that she doesn’t support Christmas only-oriented charitable organizations since she believes it is inappropriate to focus on helping kids one day a year while ignoring their plight for the other 364 days. I can understand the point that my friend is trying to make; however I totally disagree with her. Yes, of course we should try to help one another each and every day of the year. Unfortunately, however, there’s really no way that we’ll ever be able to fully eradicate the poverty, hunger and hatred confronting mankind, nor ease the pain and suffering that people, particularly our children, are experiencing with an ever-growing frequency.

The least that we can do is to try to brighten up their day and bring a smile to their face around the holidays when they might otherwise be forgotten.

To those who can afford to put a little bit of money or time aside I would ask that you consider making a contribution to one of the many Christmas charitable organizations that work tirelessly to ensure that no one is forgotten during the holiday season. I can assure you that your compassion and consideration will be appreciated and never, ever forgotten.

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